


Left Me Hurting

by orphan_account



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: ASPD Catra, ASPD positivity, Adora loves and respects her girlfriend, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Insecurity, Mutual Pining, Self-Hatred, Self-Indulgent, Sociopath falling in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-22 23:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20330191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A take on ASPD/Sociopathic Catra towards Adora.She denied her attachment to Adora so many times, telling herself it was only sexual attraction that made her feel like butterfly wings were fluttering against the walls of her stomach, or electricity taking over her legs, making them shivery and unstable- this is why she leaned against Adora now, her mismatched eyes meeting the kind blue ones, that looked at her with such passion.





	Left Me Hurting

Catra pressed her chest against Adora's, her collar bone meeting a pair of modestly sized breasts, sending a wave of electricity and warmth through the feline's body, making the tip of her tail curl curiously. Her arms slowly found their way around Adora's neck, sharp nails delicately combing her blonde ponytail, while two warm hands rested on the curve of Catra's hips.

The concept of love and attachment was always so foreign to Catra, it was as if her brain was wired to water down every possible emotion her brain might suggest- this coupled with Shadow Weaver's constant intrustion resulted into Catra subconsciously casting away the little intensity of feelings her brain had allowed her. Whenever Adora would giggle, laugh or smile, it made Catra wondered how could someone so perfect and beautiful be so drawn to an empty shell of a human person. But she supposed Adora never saw her in such a pathetic light- maybe because Catra always acted like she was the best, beaming with confidence and excitement, when in reality, her insecurities and jealousy was breaking her apart. She was never personally drawn to smile, never felt the warm feeling in her chest or a tickle up her belly like Adora has once described it. What made her smile or laugh was little pumps of adrenaline that were addictive- because that was the only thing that allowed her to truely feel like she was functional.

She denied her attachment to Adora so many times, telling herself it was only sexual attraction that made her feel like butterfly wings were fluttering against the walls of her stomach, or electricity taking over her legs, making them shivery and unstable- this is why she leaned against Adora now, her mismatched eyes meeting the kind blue ones, that looked at her with such passion. 

She denied her attachment to Adora when she met her pink, soft lips that felt like what she imagined roses felt like. She denied her attachment to Adora when the loving kiss started developing, lips melting against eachother with such tenderness yet with so much need that Catra could get drunk off it- stealing her breath away. She denied it even when her ears twitched upon hearing Adora's quiet moan that she immeidately swallowed by tangling their tongues up, turning the intimate noise into an intoxicating hum that made Catra list off all the reasons why she wanted to hold this girl close for the rest of her life. Why she wanted to build a better life for both of them. Why she wanted to build an empire of their own and rule it with her beloved Adora, have everyone bow at her feet and treat her with upmost respect. She would willingly and without a second thought crush the skull of anyone who would dare look at her Queen the wrong way.

Another moan popped from Adora's lust dripping voice, the grip on Catra's hips becoming firm and needy, caressing her down to her thighs in circles. This girl will be the death of Catra. It always saddened her that she could never reveal her true colors to Adora- of course, her beloved was very much aware of the feline's impulsivity, selfishness, aggression and compromising morals, and accepted them like the saint she is, but Catra still felt the need to impersonate excitement, force much emotion into her voice, or pretend that she cared for many trivial things that seemed to be so important for every day people around her. She couldn't drop 'the mask', and let her blunt, monotone, and cynical personality escape. Partially because she was reluctant to be abandoned by the only source of adrenaline in her life, and partially because she wanted Adora nit to worry, and keep the smile of her face.

"Ahh.. Adora-" She let a pitched purr escape as her tail wrapped around Adora's leg, desperate. The handful of times Catra cried or showed weakness in front of Adora was only as a young child, and ever since a specific age, Catra couldn't recall ever feeling sad or scared again, it was an everlasting numbness only Adora could temporarily put an end to. The only person who can make her go crazy, abandon everything she ever had and ever stood for- the only person that could make her... feel. Feel to the maximum compacity.

The moment Catra's back hit the wall, her thoughts disintegrated into pure nothingness and were replaced by the immediate need for sexual and emotional stimulation. Adora was now kissing her like a hungry animal; sloppy and needy, completely missing her lips by a few inches a couple of times. Catra pushed her hips up against the blonde's, throwing a leg arounf her hip and holding her close, grip strict and firm, as if her life depended on it. "I love you.." It was spoken between breaths, a ghost of the powerful confession she could make if she only allowed herself to accept it. It was barely there, but it reached Adora's ears enough to motivate her to grab Catra's hips and lift her up, pressing her back flat against the cold metal wall. 

"I love you too. I love you do much.." No matter how lust driven those words were, to Catra they sounded angelic and pure, something only Adora could do.

Adora, Adora, Adora, Adora, Adora..

It was always Adora, the drive behind every goal in her life and every little mistake she made- they were only meant to attract Adora's attentiom and keep her affections close. Adora was the drug that kept her so high that the realization that she was never coming back to her embrace again felt like a fast fall that she couldn't balance herself up from, and resulted into a million bruises, cuts and all two-hundered-and-change of her bones. Catra was once again reminded that it was just her her and her wanting imagination, yearning Adora close to her again. It was the first time in so many years Catra felt something akin to hurt. Very light, but it was so contrasting to the adrenaline and numbness that it left Catra scared to let herself consider trusting anyone else. It left Catra empty with the desire to destroy Adora for toying with her and then leaving just for fun.

It left Catra miserable with boiling want to destroy the source of her pain, and cast away any other potential threat of experiencing this again.


End file.
